Can I beat the legend Isildur?
Last blog I wrote about my trip to Unibet Open Sinaia. After that I've been to one live event in the UK, where I got 16th for a bit over a min-cash, nothing too spectacular there. My main focus the last weeks has been the online grind. I definitely had big ups, but the bigger they come the harder they fall...
Right after my last blog the scores kept coming in. Shipping tournaments on all 3 sites I was playing felt fantastic of course, but especially on the bigger sites where I was a losing player up until that point. I was convinced it was just because of a small sample size, however it's still nice when you start showing actual profit. I've enough confidence in myself that I beat every MTT on Unibet, however on the other sites I wasn't 100% sure. In the beginning of March my graphs there went from funplayer to having a decent ROI, I know the sample is still too small but nevertheless a great confidence boost.
The highlights were definitely my first bink on a site with quite high rake where I ran like god in a 22$ bounty, I believe I even won more than the whole final table combined. If you win all your flips bounty tournaments are so easy. However, the best result was a back to back FT in the 33$ Main Event on Party. On Sunday I chopped it HU for over 4K and on Tuesday (Monday I don't play) I got third. The upswing was real but I knew this couldn't go on forever.
Last few weeks have been relatively tough. I'm definitely not on a downswing, that term would be unfair to the people who are on a real negative swing. However, it's all going a bit tougher. This goes hand in hand with mental game 'issues'. I started to doubt my abilities a lot and seemed to get more insecure every day. I've tried to come out of this negative spiral by speaking to some fellow poker players, watching video's about the mental game and trying to get new idea's about things that I can change to overcome this.
I came to the conclusion that I simply lack knowledge about the game, which is a result of lazy behaviour. I'm for sure studying the game with Raise Your Edge and analyzing hands, but not dedicated enough in my opinion. If I continue like this I'm pretty sure I will beat $55 games, Unibet games and so on, but it won't be enough to become a beast that people fear when you join their table. I've found huge help in Kristy Arnett her content, who you might know from Youtube or the podcast with Bencb about the mindset. This was one of the best podcasts I've ever listened to and came at the perfect time for me personally.
In this podcast Ben was talking about a student who really liked the game, wanted to study and become a crusher, but still didn't do it. It didn't take Ben too long to find out that the reason for this was that this student never had to hustle when he was younger. He always got good grades at school, always had supportive family and friends and never learned what it was to work really hard and hustle through when things don't come as easy as they used to. The first time I listened this podcast the alarm bells didn't go off. However, the second time I immediately realized this student could have been me.
This podcast made me aware of the reason why I'm not a highstakes crusher yet. My mindset and discipline aren't strong enough, which probably has to do with my relatively easy youth. The worst thing I could do is ignoring this. I should just admit it, be completely honest to myself, and try to get over it by keeping a diary and meditating. So far meditating makes me really uncomfortable every time I do it, but I will keep on trying it. Has this podcast been life changing for me? I don't know yet, but it could turn out to be if I take all the lessons from it.
I'm writing this blog after my worst session ever, as I lost over 1K last Sunday. This was the first time I lost 4 figures in a single online session. However, I battled the legend Isildur1 who was to my left for a long time. I didn't manage to beat him, but I sat down with one of the best in the game and stood my ground. I'm by far not ready to compete with players of this caliber, but it was a fun experience. I for sure tried my best and almost busted him in the end until I got Greensteined.
I haven't really had time for streaming as much as I would want to, given I needed all my energy and focus for playing poker and studying the game. On the other side I have shown great discipline in working out on a regular basis. I'm still a classic tall skinny Dutchie, but I am working on it! If I can translate this discipline to the poker field, I'm sure it won't take long before I sit down with Isildur again.
Upcoming month before taking off to London for the Unibet Open I will be focussing on improving both my poker fundamentals and mental game, but especially on my daily study routine. The goal is to be less lazy and put what I learned in Kristy's podcast with Ben into practice. If I do so, I'm convinced I will do very well in in the upcoming online series.
I had a lot of ups and downs last weeks, but learned one major lesson: poker can be generous, rewarding and fun but always be aware of flying too close to the sun. Let's put in the work that is needed and see you next time!